Joan Thrift-Walton
Andrew Wohlfeil
English 1022:54
Roz Chast
Thesis statement:
Thanks to modern technology, young people don't have the ability to communicate effectively.
Supporting statement 1: line 6 of the text Romeo states “What a jerk I usedd purpl ink on the sci test. He g5ot pissed he lookjs like jiminy cricket” This is an example of the horrible grammar skills young people have developed.
Supporting statement 2: line11 states “cardoza called home, sez im failig spanish btw both my rents hate u” we can see here there are no clear transitions in the conversation when Juliet switch subjects.
Statement 3: In the article both Romeo, and Juliet made comments about their parents hating each other. They were comfortable sharing this because there were no emotional ties to this conversation, being it was in a virtual world. We also notice how quickly they discontinued their chat when Juliet mentioned her father was coming.
Author response 1: Chast would support Graff's argument due to line 11 where Juliet inform Romeo she is failing Spanish, and the statement contains several grammar errors.
Author Response 2: Chast would agree with Goldwasser based on the survey she conducted that found most kids are ignorant to history and literature, because they have been concentrating there effort in becoming fluent in texting blogging and facebook.
Authors Response 3: Chast would support the argument that with technology allows the illusion of companionship with out the demands of long term intimate friendship. This is true for Romeo and Juliet who fear intimacy, because there parents hate each other.
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To start out with, I think that your group did a pretty good job with making the different parts of the assignment very clear by labeling them with separate titles. I also think that your group does a pretty good job at supporting the thesis. Your group also did a pretty good job with the author responses because I believe your group has done a good job of making your point/your authors point. Hope this may help some.
ReplyDeleteWell I have good things and hopefully helpful things to add to your post. First off, I think that you did a good job with making sure that you had supporting statements, now with that said I have to say that this style did not work for me, personally. I feel that your essay would have been better had it been put into an essay. The way it is written is kind of confusing and really seems to be lacking substance, however, you did make sure that you followed the parts of the assignment so on that I would say good job. Also you did a great job on your thesis.
ReplyDeleteI think your group did a good job identifying the thesis and I liked your supporting points. You read into each of your supporting points effectively by identifying things like the fact that there "were no emotional ties." I like how you used actual quotes from the piece.
ReplyDeleteI think maybe you could have gone into more detail about Chast's response to other authors. Perhaps just explaining that a little more would make it more clear.
I think you guys did a great job!
I was honestly really confused when I was reading your paper. I don’t remember much of that essay you were assigned so when I was reading this I realized some of your parts come out of now where. They could have some more information to make it flow. Other than that I agree with your main author that children’s grammar these days are horrible. Soon schools are going to have to have a class for proper text messaging to children break this bad habit!
ReplyDeleteI think you guys did a great job identify the parts of the assignment and then making sure that they all were covered. I did find it a little hard to read, due to the lack of flow in the piece and not interducing that you where using quotes with text messaging speech. I thought the use of actual quotes was very well done, the use of them help to lend credibility to your arguments. Over all I like it.
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